Monday Morning Podcast 7-22-19

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  • Published: 23 July 2019
  • Bill rambles about the 80’s, cocaine, and getting your woman to the gym.

    Full Episodes of the Monday Morning Podcast: bit.ly/2nAzwGV
    Full Episodes of the Thursday Afternoon Podcast: bit.ly/2mTA6Cy
    Full Episodes of the MMP One-Shots: bit.ly/2oNClY2

    Here’s the website! billburr.com

    I was born a freckled child in a land far away during a much simpler time. I did well in school until it counted. As a freshman in high school I had dreams of going to Notre Dame and becoming a lawyer. By the time I was sophomore I was taking shop class and was considering getting into construction. I ended up working in warehousing and unloading trucks. Other than stand up, that job was the most fun I ever had.

    I am now a stand up comedian. I do a couple hundred shows a year. And I enjoy the travel. I’ve done four hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This”, “Let It Go”, “You People Are All The Same” and “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.” I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. And I have an animated series on Netflix called: ‘F’ Is For Family.’ Occasionally I act in movies but only when they let me.
  • Fun Fun

Comments • 433

  • furrnandough
    furrnandough  6 days back

    4:06

    • E.T.
      E.T.  2 weeks back

      3:07 Billy The "Disco" Kid

      • Eldritch
        Eldritch  3 weeks back

        ZIPACRUDA!
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPACRYDA!

        • Jay Mills
          Jay Mills  3 weeks back

          “For meeeeeeeeeEeeeeeeee......” This is my favorite Bill Burr podcast intro I’ve heard so far. I gotta see this guy live! Jokes for days 😂

          • james mokhasi
            james mokhasi  3 weeks back

            Did Bill just say he's like Rapunzel?

            • Simon Tilston
              Simon Tilston  3 weeks back

              I'd pay good money to see a good 'few chinners' protesting.
              Call it 'The March of the Pink-Wings'.

              • DellofAction
                DellofAction  3 weeks back

                wtf just happened?😂😂😂

                • Purple MonkeyDishwasher
                  Purple MonkeyDishwasher  1 months back

                  Dude this podcast is as funny as anyone’s comedy special I’ve heard and it’s just off the cuff

                  • Das Stig
                    Das Stig  1 months back

                    Bill is the only podcast where i don't skip the ads - they're the best material!

                    (How does Bill not know what Google chrome is!?)

                    • Patrick Cailleaux
                      Patrick Cailleaux  1 months back

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ACmr5wJur0

                      • Shinigami920
                        Shinigami920  1 months back

                        Bill Burr - The most effortlessly funny man on planet earth

                        • Schmidty
                          Schmidty  2 months back

                          Bill burr is the 🐐

                          • King2084
                            King2084  2 months back

                            Maybe its just me but I died at the parade story 😂😂

                            • Pat Brodie
                              Pat Brodie  2 months back

                              The Mike Douglas Show was very relaxing to watch

                              • Ryan Smith
                                Ryan Smith  2 months back

                                Best part is at the end about vacation and a weekend with no plans. Totally underrated

                                • titus aurilius chariot maker to the gods

                                  I say cunt in mixed company too!

                                  • serge glazunov
                                    serge glazunov  2 months back

                                    Just say I don't want to date a fat chick and I need you to fucking not turn into that

                                    • serge glazunov
                                      serge glazunov  2 months back

                                      I almost choked on my doughnut when you said gender-neutral horse

                                      • Lol im not giving you my real name

                                        i just feel like for MMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑₑ

                                        • Chase Morrison
                                          Chase Morrison  2 months back

                                          Relisted to this one since I didn't get a notification for the Thursday just before Friday podcast.

                                          • Natasha Thompson
                                            Natasha Thompson  2 months back

                                            Love when the kid comes in.

                                            • CALLIE-CO 2
                                              CALLIE-CO 2  2 months back

                                              Hey Bill what do you think about Styxhexenhammer666 channel? Have you watched him yet? You should hear his views on this political circus ... here's a good one ..this one is before Mccain died.. then watch the one about McCains death.. he's got lots on obama too ! ck this out https://youtu.be/jUoZGYrMACw

                                              • Natasha Thompson
                                                Natasha Thompson  2 months back

                                                Olé red face had a great blow job last night. Lmao he's relaxed and on a roll. Loving every minute.

                                                • Stevie Velarde
                                                  Stevie Velarde  2 months back

                                                  Hilarious

                                                  • Random Guy
                                                    Random Guy  2 months back

                                                    Bill "What do you do when the zombies come?" Burr

                                                    • RPrevolution25
                                                      RPrevolution25  2 months back

                                                      Good for you with ya happy words, nobody likes ya! Lmfao

                                                      • zeho box
                                                        zeho box  2 months back

                                                        HONEY! Bill is selling spyware! I wonder if he realises. BILL WAKE UP!
                                                        Apps like "Honey" are bad news. I'm very suprised to hear Bill actually shilling one.

                                                        • Renaud Villacis
                                                          Renaud Villacis  2 months back

                                                          25:00 that food demon is the funniest shit to me 😂👏🤣👏

                                                          • Heather Marie
                                                            Heather Marie  2 months back

                                                            Addicted to your phone....puts phone down, after commenting lol

                                                            • Averell storey
                                                              Averell storey  2 months back

                                                              How many are still waiting for the Thursday just before Friday Monday morning podcast

                                                            • Griffin Johnson
                                                              Griffin Johnson  2 months back

                                                              How do you write in to freckles?

                                                              • Kevin L.
                                                                Kevin L.  2 months back

                                                                The whole podcast was great, but his advice for the gym guy (starting around 52:09) is fucking HILARIOUS!!!!!

                                                                • Debonaire Nerd
                                                                  Debonaire Nerd  2 months back

                                                                  FRECKLES! It's Thursday.
                                                                  You didn't check in on me. Are you a QUEEEEER? You posted your last POWDCAST late, now you're not showing up at all. Not acceptable, Billy Blue Balls. Your old pal, ZZIIIIIIIIIP will hear about this.

                                                                  • The Fare Player
                                                                    The Fare Player  2 months back

                                                                    They wanted their governor to resign, Bill.

                                                                    • Bif Webster
                                                                      Bif Webster  2 months back

                                                                      I was WRONG.

                                                                      • Bif Webster
                                                                        Bif Webster  2 months back

                                                                        Thank you for being AUTHENTIC.

                                                                        • Bif Webster
                                                                          Bif Webster  2 months back

                                                                          I'm "Sule," or, Suleminagic69... the ASSHOLE from the imdb Sports Board. Yeah, BOSOXRULE? Was that YOU?

                                                                          • Bif Webster
                                                                            Bif Webster  2 months back

                                                                            Bill, my mother was JUST LIKE YOU. Only problem was TWO THINGS: She was female (that's redundant, I get it), AND, we grew up in Southern California, where everyone has their place; their spot; their role. You have OBVIOUSLY seen this from living out here. And I grew up in the suburbs south of where you're at now, which just means it's WORSE.

                                                                            My mom had HUGE balls. She would scream down men, misogynist men, and want to fist fight them. Yeah, sure, you bag on TODAY'S females, and, yeah, that's also a thing. But my mother, she'd knock you the fuck out! In her prime, though. But even SHE wouldn't fall for some of the bullshit some of these women are pulling today, as she brought that up back in 1980!

                                                                            So I love what you do... context MATTERS. So MANY assholes LEAVE OUT CONTEXT. You DON'T. And NEITHER DID MY MOTHER! She had, in fact, more balls than I have! And I have some balls! Trust me! Just follow what the fuck I've been writing for the past twenty years or so! But even THAT does not compare to what she did while she was spitting fire.

                                                                            You're awesome... keep up that shit. We NEED that shit.

                                                                            • deks räikkönen
                                                                              deks räikkönen  2 months back

                                                                              I'll choose to travel and cover the floor and walls of my house or wherever I stay, with the thickest, softest materiaI I can find, just like an asylum room (but cool and super soft like goosefeather lining or memory foam)

                                                                              • Bif Webster
                                                                                Bif Webster  2 months back

                                                                                Bill ain't German/Irish, but he _is_ Irish/German!

                                                                                • ledzeppelinzoso
                                                                                  ledzeppelinzoso  2 months back

                                                                                  The parade chant killed me 😂😂😂

                                                                                  • Joey Klarenbeek
                                                                                    Joey Klarenbeek  2 months back

                                                                                    Hahahahahha!!! Solid GOLD! Keep doing you Bill; you legend.

                                                                                    • Sam Anderson
                                                                                      Sam Anderson  2 months back

                                                                                      Right out of the gate trashing women. ROFL

                                                                                      • SoleSurvivor
                                                                                        SoleSurvivor  2 months back

                                                                                        johnny quest was probably my most favorite cartoon... mostly because of bandit... i like bandit because he only did dog stuff... not like snarf or any of the other useless token animals that have to sleepwalk through their, "witty banter", and take care of that ONE thing that any one of the other characters couldn't easily handle themselves... and bumble their way through that... fuggin' useless... so when you say you couldn't deal with cuckoo man... i know exactly what you mean

                                                                                        • MiyamotoMusashi.org
                                                                                          MiyamotoMusashi.org  2 months back

                                                                                          You love your kid--what are you, a FAAAAG?

                                                                                          • Sterling Mantlow
                                                                                            Sterling Mantlow  2 months back

                                                                                            This was a great one. We love ya ole Billy Blue Balls

                                                                                            • Carr Rexx
                                                                                              Carr Rexx  2 months back

                                                                                              Podcast Well Done: one Billy Belly Bomb Burr Burger, hold the Nianaise.

                                                                                              • Eldritch
                                                                                                Eldritch  2 months back

                                                                                                don't blow it
                                                                                                keep it simple
                                                                                                upload before tuesday