Monday Morning Podcast 5-27-19

  • Published: 28 May 2019
  • Bill rambles about the upper east side, depression, and bl*w jobs.

    Full Episodes of the Monday Morning Podcast:
    Full Episodes of the Thursday Afternoon Podcast:
    Full Episodes of the MMP One-Shots:

    Here’s the website!

    I was born a freckled child in a land far away during a much simpler time. I did well in school until it counted. As a freshman in high school I had dreams of going to Notre Dame and becoming a lawyer. By the time I was sophomore I was taking shop class and was considering getting into construction. I ended up working in warehousing and unloading trucks. Other than stand up, that job was the most fun I ever had.

    I am now a stand up comedian. I do a couple hundred shows a year. And I enjoy the travel. I’ve done four hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This”, “Let It Go”, “You People Are All The Same” and “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.” I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. And I have an animated series on Netflix called: ‘F’ Is For Family.’ Occasionally I act in movies but only when they let me.
  • Fun Fun

Comments • 444

  • Wrong Thinker
    Wrong Thinker  3 months back

    "...for this *SUMMER.* "

    • polsy gerych
      polsy gerych  3 months back

      kids are always high on sodas, cereal, i.e. sugar tho.

      also i recommend spicing up that food with hot sauce.

      • Lovely Fortune
        Lovely Fortune  3 months back

        If I was the Bachelorette, I'd pick Billy Burr

        • Josh Rick
          Josh Rick  3 months back

          You're an idiot, but a cool kind of idiot.

          • Z EBN
            Z EBN  3 months back

            Fortunately, neither of us have any kwaze uncles. :)

            • Z EBN
              Z EBN  3 months back

              Kongs not kwaze man. Its that welsh guy from 079

              • Piotr Pilarski
                Piotr Pilarski  3 months back

                Annul the marriage and say she never mentioned she doesn't like blowjobs.

                • G G
                  G G  3 months back

                  The gay story sounds maaaaaade up

                  • nicholas
                    nicholas  3 months back

                    Aussie chicks; tough to find a keeper down here.
                    Out of all the westerners they are the most entitled and unsexy, hence the mass of azn mail orders down here too.

                    • Jaysin P. Becker
                      Jaysin P. Becker  3 months back

                      Blow jobs are overrated.

                      • Chris Corbett
                        Chris Corbett  3 months back

                        Wait, is aul Billy Balls living in NYC for the summer? Or is he just committing for this acting gig?

                        • Bob Alli
                          Bob Alli  3 months back

                          bill red hour glass drinking sand
                          theo vanilla cum 2 australia

                          so funny

                          talk 2 the broken fanz
                          comedy stand up
                          where are the broken cunts

                          • Whiskey Earned
                            Whiskey Earned  4 months back

                            No booze. No cigars. No porn. Why do you even get up in the morning?

                            Edit: Yoga? Jesus, you wearing the tight pants too ya faaaaaaaaag?

                            • Jordan Peterson fan 2019
                              Jordan Peterson fan 2019  4 months back

                              Before he married that nggr everything was fine

                              • X-man
                                X-man  3 months back

                                You're a childish piece of trash. It's sad that you think Bill would actually support you saying this, you insecure little boy.

                              • Whiskey Earned
                                Whiskey Earned  4 months back

                                Jordan Peterson and Bill Burr would both consider you a piece of shit.

                            • Rayna Wrighton
                              Rayna Wrighton  4 months back

                              Love all these ole NYC stories. I moved only 3 yrs ago and don't recognize it when I go back!!

                              • Phil Indeblanc
                                Phil Indeblanc  4 months back

                                @47min in....You want a good spread and not mind doing some drywall
                                @50min in...maybe take the shower before the BJ? that can help...but they/bj's are way over rated...unless you dig demeaning women, or your partner to seeing them in such position....If she likes it, then great if you enjoy it. lol

                                • Amateur Anth
                                  Amateur Anth  4 months back

                                  No blow job equals a divorce/ annulment, they've only been married for 6 months.. if he waits any longer she'll probably take him for everything..

                                  • I'm Dirty Dan
                                    I'm Dirty Dan  4 months back

                                    Heeeeyyy Billy Boy!!! My friends and I had saw you at the Bar on Friday the 24th; the day after our college graduation. Thanks for the picture, sorry for interrupting your break with your friend.

                                    • Roman Voronov
                                      Roman Voronov  4 months back

                                      "You gotta go Colombo about it" ahahahahah!!!)))

                                      • LastAvailableAlias
                                        LastAvailableAlias  4 months back

                                        Omg I would've wanted to punch that annoying bitch whining at his show. If you are that sensitive don't go to comedy shows and ruin it for others.

                                        • Prison Mike
                                          Prison Mike  4 months back

                                          420 videos, what a number

                                          • LightninLarry
                                            LightninLarry  4 months back

                                            22:32 says those were fun times. 22:57 says he hated living there. 😂

                                            • Samuel Lamar
                                              Samuel Lamar  4 months back

                                              Lol I'm a veteran and I laughed my ass off when Bill messed up and said "Happy Veteran's Day" on Memorial day. This guy is one of the funniest men alive today without even trying , nothing but love for Bill

                                              • D.V.
                                                D.V.  4 months back

                                                Why are comedy clubs filled with overly sensitive women??? Go see jim gaffigan or some shit. I am a woman, and Id kill to see Bill live, are you fucking kidding me with the heckling??

                                                • WitcherBruce B74
                                                  WitcherBruce B74  4 months back

                                                  If you're a really sensitive person don't go to a comedy store,that's why that have musicals" best thing I've heard all week 🤣

                                                  • Chris Bradshaw
                                                    Chris Bradshaw  4 months back

                                                    Patrice would have HANDLED that last viewer email

                                                    • Jeff Baker
                                                      Jeff Baker  2 weeks back

                                                      He would've said something stupid like he often did.

                                                  • slow mofo
                                                    slow mofo  4 months back

                                                    My gf also said she ddnt like giving blowjobs while my dick was in her hand. We ddnt last very long

                                                    • Michael Taylor
                                                      Michael Taylor  4 months back


                                                      • Michael Taylor
                                                        Michael Taylor  4 months back


                                                        • LandShark Clark
                                                          LandShark Clark  4 months back

                                                          Memorial Day not Veterans Day. Oof, the amount of time I get a happy Memorial Day message from people -,- I always respond with “thanks, but I’m not dead”

                                                        • Stewart Allen
                                                          Stewart Allen  4 months back

                                                          Ol' Billy has real addiction problems. What are ya, a weak fag? Man up and overcome the vice. You're too old to be this soft

                                                          • Brad R
                                                            Brad R  4 months back

                                                            Veterans day?? dont worry...we still love you.

                                                            • Sergei Dever
                                                              Sergei Dever  4 months back

                                                              No more porn hub congratulatings but hay that's tuff

                                                              • El Emu
                                                                El Emu  4 months back

                                                                Count your money - And be nice - Billy Bob bob - aka, Bill Burr

                                                                • Gangyshark
                                                                  Gangyshark  4 months back

                                                                  LETS GO BLUES!

                                                                  • Matthew Wang
                                                                    Matthew Wang  4 months back

                                                                    Coming from a 100% Chinese.... "Chikaan Brokolaaa" & "Was your Ordaa?" had me bent over laughing.

                                                                    • griff7821
                                                                      griff7821  4 months back

                                                                      Hey man, get your fuckin holidays right! Dont you know how to remember shit? Apparently fuckin not cause you cant remember when fucking memorial day is. Jesus christ! People say that shit all fuckin week long. Howd you fuck this up. You do remember what we remember on memorial day dont you? It's not people that are living! Fucking shit! Are you gonna remember me and my brothers in November, or just give thanks for a fuckin Turkey and pass over the vets still above ground. Shit! That might have been a fuckin rant, ok fuck it, it was a rant. Listened to a lot of yours, read mine

                                                                      • Big Sauce
                                                                        Big Sauce  4 months back

                                                                        I'm never going to see honey the same way again 😂

                                                                        • cormac liston
                                                                          cormac liston  4 months back

                                                                          Marry some guy who just wants to jackhammer ye..ha ha hilarious

                                                                          • John Wu
                                                                            John Wu  4 months back

                                                                            she sounded like hillary losing to trump lol

                                                                            • Batman1st Doodle Jump
                                                                              Batman1st Doodle Jump  4 months back

                                                                              7:14 I don't drink, I don't watch porn anymore. Is that what you do when you become an old fuck?

                                                                              • AssMonk249
                                                                                AssMonk249  4 months back

                                                                                Memorial Day, lol.

                                                                                • Batman1st Doodle Jump
                                                                                  Batman1st Doodle Jump  4 months back

                                                                                  O'l billy blue balls

                                                                                  • Brent Ulstad
                                                                                    Brent Ulstad  4 months back


                                                                                    • Angel Perez
                                                                                      Angel Perez  4 months back

                                                                                      I fawken lawvv f is for family keep that shit up... love from San Antonio homie

                                                                                      • Pogo the Clown
                                                                                        Pogo the Clown  4 months back

                                                                                        Wan Paunch

                                                                                      • Ronin Patriot
                                                                                        Ronin Patriot  4 months back

                                                                                        Im gettin shit on from all sides lately too billy, keep it together ill try and do the same...

                                                                                        • Zilla Vanilla
                                                                                          Zilla Vanilla  4 months back

                                                                                          Bruins are going down!!!